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Shockers Start Offseason Trading Strong

The NC Shockers have not wasted time trying to improve their franchise after a disappointing end to the 2014 season.  In their first move, the Shockers have traded the 10th, 33rd, and 34th picks in the 2015 DFU Draft to the Bethlehem Bad Boys for a pair of Defensive Ends; Jason Pierre-Paul and Carlos Dunlap.

In their second move, the Shockers reclaimed a first round pick by obtaining the 4th and 40th overall picks in the draft from Southside for RBs Adrian Peterson and Lamar Miller.

Moving RBs just makes sense for the Shockers at this point as they are flooded with talent at the position.  With DeMarco Murray, LeVeon Bell, and Jeremy Hill already on the roster, moving the aging Peterson and the yet to be proven Miller are smart moves in order to obtain a top prospect.  For Southside, this trades settles a long standing drought of talent at the RB position. Both teams come away with a win in this trade, but have the Shockers potentially funded their eventual downfall by pumping up a divisional rival?

The second trade is a little more of a head scratcher.  The Shockers have definitely upgraded their D-Line with this move without question, but it is interesting that a 1st round pick AND 2 third round picks were on the table here.  DEs have not traditionally been drafted in Round 1 and while both of these players are solid in their position, neither have been game breakers in the scoring system.  However, with a 6 spot jump in Round 1 the Shockers had money to burn and they have helped balance out their roster.

The question lingering from these moves is are the Shockers finished, or just getting started?

2015 DFU Draft Order – Final

Round 1

1)  Palmer Porn Stars*

2)  Bethlehem Bad Boys*

3)  Franconia Destroyers (Originally for Scranton Spartans)*

4)  Southside Schweinhammer*

5)  NC Shockers (Originally for Neverland Lost Boys)*

6)  Boston Seabass*

7)  Danville Ironmen*

8)  Las Vegas Wild*

9)  Reading Reapers*

10)  NC Shockers*

11)  Texas Lone Stars*

12)  Franconia Destroyers*

* – Draft position locked

Dynasty Bowl VII Tale of the Tape

DFU 2014 Championship Game Roster Breakdown

With the championship game just around the corner, it’s time for an objective review of the rosters that are going head to head.


Franconia Destroyer QB’s Texas Lone Stars QB’s
Tom Brady @ NYJ Russell Wilson @ Ari
Tony Romo vs Indy Matthew Stafford @ Chi

Both Texas and Franconia have the luxury of playing match ups with elite quarterbacks.  Franconia’s tandem of Tom Brady and Tony Romo have scored more points (505.80 to 452.02) for the season than the Lone Star’s pair of Russell Wilson and Matthew Stafford, but don’t sleep on Texas here.

The Destroyer’s Tony Romo (vs Indy) and Tom Brady (@ NYJ) have decent match ups on paper.  But Romo is most likely missing Murray and Rex Ryan is dreaming of toes and beating Bill Bellicheck on his way out the door.

The Lone Stars’ number one QB Russell Wilson is facing a stiff Monday night matchup @ Ari.  Matthew Stafford has the best matchup on paper of all 4 QB’s with an away game against what passes for a football team in Chicago.  It is a divisional game…but still.  Man the Bears suck.

QB EDGE: TEXAS (slight)


Franconia Destroyer RB’s Texas Lone Stars RB’s
Joique Bell @ Chi Justin Forsett @ Hou
Jonathan Stewart vs Cle Alfred Morris vs Phi
Latvius Murray @ Buf Benny Cunningham vs NYG
Khiry Robinson vs NO Terrence West @ Car
Christine Michael @ Ari Jonas Gray @ NYJ

Texas holds a clear advantage in the RB category.  The Lone Stars’ two primary starters are top 10 DFU backs.  Justin Forsett (8th) and Alfred Morris (10th).  But both backs come with a warning label.

Washington is a hot mess that is facing a Philadelphia team playing to keep the playoff hopes alive.  The game could be out of hand by midway through the 2nd quarter which would leave Morris out of the game plan.

Forsett has the capability to break open a game, or at least he did it against Tennessee and New Orleans.  He also was held to a measly 48 yards by the Jacksonville Jaguars.  The Lone Stars better hope their favorite team, the Houston JJ Watts don’t shut down his prime back again.

Franconia’s RB depth chart is…uhhh…interesting.  His lead back is Joique Bell, a solid RB2 for most squads.  Just like Matt Stafford, Bell gets a second crack at the Bears.  Last time that happened he had 91 yards and 2 TD’s.

Once you get past Bell the Destroyers RB depth chart jumps off a cliff.  Jonathan Stewart, Khiry Robinson, Christine Michael…if one of those guys gives the Destroyers more than token points, Franconia should immediately go out and buy a lottery ticket.  During the season Franconia started one RB on a regular basis, but has rolled with Jonathan Stewart as a second RB starter.  The Stewart results have been mixed with a big performance in week 14 (18+ points) and a 3 point clunker in week 15.  If the Destroyers start him this week, Stewart will face a Cleveland defense that just got tore up by the Cincinnati run game.

I’d be remiss if I left off Latavius Murray.  He gashed the Chiefs for 112 yards and 2 TD’s in week 12, had another 76 yards against the 49ers, but got bottled up last week against KC after seeing them twice in 4 weeks.  He is definitely explosive and is facing the number 10 rushing defense in the NFL vs Buffalo.  Does Franconia dare use a young back who has only had one REALLY good game in the DFU championship?

RB EDGE: TEXAS (moderate)


Franconia Destroyer WR/TE Texas Lone Stars WR/TE
Dez Bryant vs Indy Odell Beckham @ StL
Emmanuel Sanders @ Cin Calvin Johnson @ Chi
Antonio Gates @ SF Julius Thomas @ Cin
Greg Jennings @ Mia Percy Harvin vs NE
Jason Witten vs Indy Marques Colston vs Atl
Mychal Rivera @ Buf Martavis Bryant vs KC
Davante Adams Terrance Williams vs Indy
Cecil Shorts vs Ten Donte Moncrief @ Dal

How do you make a deep playoff run with sub-par running backs?  Explosive pass catchers getting hot at the right time is the answer.

By the pure points, the Destroyers hold a significant edge with the duo of Dez Bryant and Emmanuel Sanders, respectively the number 4 and 8 WRs in the league.  But again Franconia find themselves with great players and poor match ups.  Bryant faces the Indy’s 3rd ranked WR defense and Sanders goes against the 2nd ranked pass defense of Cincinnati.  Both players can be considered matchup proof to some extent, but this is the championship game.  Lucky for Franconia he’ll be facing the number 11 and 17 ranked WR’s…who happen to be Odell Beckham and Calvin Johnson.

Rookie phenom ODB is playing at Saint Louis who are ranked 21 against WR’s.  The Rams tend to sack the QB or give up a big play.

Megatron gets the Bears…

Once you get past the lead WR’s for each team, Texas holds the edge with depth, but has bad match ups.  Texas has 3 solid starters at the position with Percy Harvin (who will be stuck on Revis island), Martavis Bryant (against the KC #1 ranked pass defense) and Marques Colston who is streaky as hell, but will be facing the garbage that is the Atlanta defense.

If Franconia decides to go WR for their #3 pass catcher he can throw a dart to choose between Greg Jennings, Davante Adams and Cecil Shorts.  But remember, TE’s are people too.

Franconia has made it to the championship game riding two TE’s.  The ageless wonders, Antonio Gates and Jason Witten.  Gates faces the 49ers who are normally stingy for TE’s.  Witten gets to face Indy who is middle of the road against TE’s.

Texas brings their own TE stud in the form of Julius Thomas.  Thomas’s production has been WAY down recently though and will be facing a tough matchup vs the Bengals.

To recap, we are most likely looking at lineups of:

  • Franconia
    • Dez Bryant vs Indy
    • Emmanuel Sanders @ Cin
    • Antonio Gates @ SF
    • Jason Witten vs Indy
  • Texas
    • Odell Beckham @ StL
    • Calvin Johnson @ Chi
    • Marques Colston vs Atl
    • Julius Thomas @ Cin

Gotta give the edge to Texas again due to match ups.

WR/TE EDGE: Texas (moderate)


I’m at 900+ words.  Screw kickers.



Franconia Destroyer D-Line Texas Lone Stars D-Line
Everson Griffen @ Mia Mario Williams vs Oak
Ziggy Ansah @ Chi Sen’Derrick Marks vs Ten
Muhammad Wilkerson vs NE Cameron Jordan vs Atl
Andre Branch vs Ten

Defensive players are hard to predict, and D-Line tend to be harder than any position barring defensive backs.

By the numbers The Destroyers have the edge.

Everson Griffin from Minnesota is a defensive lineman that many people don’t know (Who can blame them, the media forgot they had a team in Minnesota once AP got suspended).  Everson is the 3rd ranked defensive D-Lineman in DFU.  He averages a steady 6.74 points per game and faces a Dolphins line with a lot of injuries.

Ziggy Ansah holds up the 2nd spot in the Destroyers line and gets to face the Chicago Bears…so…many…players…facing…Bears…

Texas fires back with their own sack master facing the Oakland Raiders.  Mario Williams will try to get to Derek Carr to help the Lone Stars get that elusive championship.  Carr, however, is harder to sack than you would think.  Carr can be inaccurate and show signs of happy feet when the rush is coming, but he gets rid of the ball quickly.

For the second spot the Lone Stars can flip a coin.  Sen’Derrick Marks vs Tennessee/QB Jesus or Cameron Jordan vs what’s left of the Atlanta offensive line.

D-Line Edge: Franconia (moderate)


Franconia Destroyer LB Texas Lone Stars LB
Lavonte David vs GB Jamie Collins @ NYJ
Brandon Marshall @ Cin Connor Barwin @ Wash
Curtis Lofton vs Atl Nigel Bradham vs Oak
Paul Worrilow @ NO Thomas Davis vs Cle
Emmanuel Lamur vs Den Jerrell Freeman @ Dal
Anthony Hitchens @ Indy Tamba Hali @ Pitt
Donald Butler @ SF

Franconia has a STRONG edge at LB.  4 of the top 10 LBs in DFU are owned by the Destroyers.  Their #2 LB, Brandon Marshall, is currently doubtful.  If Marshall can’t go, Emmanuel Lamur from Cincinnati is the next man up on the roster.

Even so, Franconia will be comfortable relying on Lavonte David, Curtis Lofton and Paul Worrilow to carry the day.

The Texas LB crew, though not as good, has potential. His top 3 LB’s will be a go on Sunday, Jamie Collins, Connor Barwin and Nigel Bradham.  There is some question about the number 4 starter as Thomas Davis is questionable.  If he can’t go Texas will choose between Jerrel Freeman, Tamba Hali and Donald Butler.

LB Edge: Franconia (moderate)


Franconia Destroyer DB Texas Lone Stars DB
Morgan Burnett @ TBB Rashad Johnson vs Sea
Antoine Bethea vs SD Ron Parker @ Pitt
DJ Swearinger vs Bal Ha Ha Clinton-Dix @ TBB

Damn we have a lot of positions to review in DFU.

Alright, last one.  DB’s are impossible to predict.  You hope your safeties make a lot of tackles and somebody gets a pick.  The Lone Stars have the edge by the numbers for the year. Let’s give the edge to Texas by the width of a pubic hair.

DB Edge: Texas (pubic hair)

After reviewing both teams, I have to say that this will be a close fought game, with a slight overall edge going to Texas based on match ups.  The recap:

  • QB – slight edge Lone Stars
  • RB – moderate edge Lone Stars
  • WR/TE – moderate edge Lone Stars
  • PK – push
  • D-Line – moderate edge Franconia
  • LB – moderate edge Franconia
  • DB – EXTREMELY slight edge Lone Stars

Which of course means the Lone Stars will lose since they are favored.  Sorry there Nate.

Good luck gentlemen.

2015 DFU Draft Order – Week 16

Round 1

1)  Palmer Porn Stars*

2)  Bethlehem Bad Boys*

3)  Franconia Destroyers (Originally for Scranton Spartans)*

4)  Southside Schweinhammer*

5)  NC Shockers (Originally for Neverland Lost Boys)*

6)  Boston Seabass*

7)  Danville Ironmen*

8)  Las Vegas Wild*

9)  Reading Reapers*

10)  NC Shockers*

11)  Texas Lone Stars

12)  Franconia Destroyers

* – Draft position locked

Dynasty Bowl VII – Texas Vs. Franconia

For the second time in as many years, we will see a rematch of a Dynasty Bowl from four years ago.  The Texas Lone Stars and Franconia Destroyers both punched their ticket to the DFU Championship Game this weekend to force a rematch of their first encounter at Dynasty Bowl III.  Coincidentally, the teams Texas and Franconia eliminated from the playoffs this weekend, Reading and NC Shockers, were Dynasty Bowl finalists last year playing out a rematch of Dynasty Bowl II, with Reading coming out on top.

This also marks the first time in DFU history that two Wild Card teams qualify for the Dynasty Bowl in the same season.  Historically, only 4 of the fourteen Dynasty Bowl participants have been Wild Card teams, with the Wild Card teams finishing 1-1 in those game up to this year.  This means that the winner of this year’s Dynasty Bowl will be only the second team in DFU history to win the DFU Title from the Wild Card slot.  Coincidentally, Franconia was that team, defeating Texas in their first matchup in Dynasty Bowl III.

These two teams have both had very interesting histories to say the least.  Texas has been, by far, the best team never to win a championship.  The Lone Stars were a powerhouse franchise in their early days, storming their way to two Dynasty Bowls in the first three years, only to be upset at the crucial moment.  Though Texas remains a playoff regular, they have found their success dwindling a bit in recent years.  Since their last Dynasty Bowl appearance, the Lone Stars have won two Division Titles, two Wild Card berths, and have competed in 3 Brown Conference titles games, going 1-2 in those contests.  This year Texas was fortunate to make the playoffs at all, winning a crucial game at the last possible moment to give them a must win to lift them above tiebreakers that would have left them home in December.  The Lone Stars have made the most of this opportunity to this point, but can they finish this Cinderella run and get the playoff monkey off of their back.

Franconia has seen more success of the two since their last showdown.  The Destroyers repeated as champions the next season, defeating the Las Vegas Wild in Dynasty Bowl IV.  This win was highlighted by the fact that Franconia did not lose a game in that period and continued an epic 26 game winning streak well into 2012.  It is interesting to note that Franconia could have had their streak shortened by several weeks, but Texas was defeated in Week 1 of 2012 in the same manner that allowed the Lone Stars to make this year’s playoffs.  Since 2012, Franconia has fallen to a Wild Card team, the same as Texas, but remains a competitive team in the league’s final weeks.

This leaves one final question looming.  Who will win Dynasty Bowl VII.  Franconia certainly sports the better record, going 10-3 against Texas’ 7-6.  Both teams had strong runs legion up to this game.  Franconia has won 10 of their previous 11 games while Texas has won 6 of their previous 7.  Texas did defeat Franconia in their only matchup this season in a close 3 point victory.  However, that does not change the fact that the Destroyers are favorites to win this game as shown by the Standings and Power Rankings.  But, Texas has been playing with house money since their surprising Week 11 comeback win, so they may have destiny on their side.

So, will it be a “three time champion” or “the third time’s the charm”?  We only need to wait a few more days to get that answer.  Either way, the game will be memorable and will either affirm one team as a dynasty or promote another from also ran to champion.

2015 DFU Draft Order – Week 15

1)  Palmer Porn Stars*

2)  Bethlehem Bad Boys*

3)  Scranton Spartans*

4)  Southside Schweinhammer*

5)  Neverland Lost Boys*

6)  Boston Seabass*

7)  Danville Ironmen*

8)  Las Vegas Wild*

9)  Texas Lone Stars

10)  Franconia Destroyers

11)  Reading Reapers

12)  NC Shockers

* – Draft position locked

2014 DFU Pro Bowl Teams Announced

As the seventh season of DFU comes to a close, it is time to declare the Pro Bowl players for the 2014 season.  This year saw four rookies qualify (noted with a *) to get their first Pro Bowl nod.  This rookie class was led by Reading Reapers LB CJ Mosley, who was the only starting rookie pro bowler.  Defense had two pro bowl rookie nods with Mosley and Boston LB Anthony Barr.  Offense had Neverland WR Kelvin Benjamin and Southside WR Mike Evans make the squads as reserve players.

Now to the counts.  Every team had at least one Pro Bowler for the third straight season.  Reading and Franconia led the way with 8 total each, with Danville and NC Shockers following right behind with 7.  Southside, Texas, and Scranton tied for the fewest electees with 2 a piece.  Reading led for most starters with 6, with Scranton failing to land a single starter.  NC Shockers had the most Offensive players with 6.  Bethlehem and Palmer each failed to have an Offensive Pro Bowler.  Finally, Palmer led the way with 6 Defensive players, while Scranton had none.

Congratulations to all players who made the fantasy trip to Hawaii in 2014.

                        Brown                          Halas
QB Andrew Luck (RPR) Aaron Rodgers (SHOK)
RB Jamaal Charles (RPR) Matt Forte (DAN)
RB Marshawn Lynch (NVR) Demarco Murray (SHOK)
WR Antonio Brown (LV) Demaryius Thomas (SCR)
WR Jordy Nelson (RPR) Jeremy Maclin (SHOK)
WR Randall Cobb (BOS) Dez Bryant (FDPA)
TE Julius Thomas (TEX) Rob Gronkowski (DAN)
PK Stephen Gostkowski (RPR) Adam Vinatieri (SHOK)
DL J.J. Watt (RPR) Demarcus Ware (PPS)
DL Mario Williams (TEX) Fletcher Cox (DAN)
LB Luke Kuechley (BBB) DeAndre Levy (SHOK)
LB CJ Mosley (RPR)* Lavonte David (FDPA)
LB Justin Houston (BOS) Paul Worrilow (FDPA)
LB Keenan Robinson (NVR) Curtis Lofton (FDPA)
DB Harrison Smith (LV) Morgan Burnett (FDPA)
DB Eric Weddle (BBB) Antrel Rolle (PPS)
QB Peyton Manning (NVR) Tom Brady (FDPA)
RB Eddie Lacy (LV) Arian Foster (FDPA)
RB LeSean McCoy (LV) Le’Veon Bell (SHOK)
WR DeAndre Hopkins (BOS) Julio Jones (SCR)
WR T.Y. Hilton (RPR) Mike Evans (SS)*
WR Kelvin Benjamin (NVR)* Golden Tate (DAN)
TE Martellus Bennett (NVR) Jimmy Graham (SHOK)
PK Justin Tucker (LV) Dan Bailey (DAN)
DL Carlos Dunlap (BBB) Muhammed Wilkerson (FDPA)
DL Rob Ninkovich (NVR) Jared Allen (PPS)
LB Anthony Barr (BOS)* Lawrence Timmons (SS)
LB David Harris (BBB) Demario Davis (PPS)
LB D’Qwell Jackson (RPR) Jelani Jenkins (DAN)
LB Alec Ogletree (BOS) Von Miller (PPS)
DB Jonathan Cyprien (LV) Micah Hyde (DAN)
DB Kenny Vaccaro (BOS) Kam Chancellor (PPS)

2015 DFU Draft Order – Week 14

1)  Palmer Porn Stars*

2)  Bethlehem Bad Boys*

3)  Scranton Spartans*

4)  Southside Schweinhammer*

5)  Neverland Lost Boys*

6)  Boston Seabass*

7)  Texas Lone Stars

8)  Franconia Destroyers

9)  Danville Ironmen

10)  Las Vegas Wild

11)  Reading Reapers

12)  NC Shockers

* – Draft position locked

Week 13 DFU Power Rankings

With just around one month to play, it is time to see where the league stacks up and see who has the best chance to win it all in December.

1.  NC Shockers (11-1)

The NC Shockers have taken a Division title, Bye Week, and Regular Season title.  They have the tools to stuff the trophy case, but can they keep the momentum going?

2.  Franconia Destroyers (9-3)

Franconia stumbled last week, causing them to fall out of contention for the Division title, but this team still has the tools to make a run in the postseason.

3.  Reading Reapers (8-4)

Reading had the Division and bye week locked two weeks ago, but now find themselves playing for too spot in Week 13.  Can they hold the lead they held all season long?

4.  Texas Lone Stars (7-5)

Excluding the Shockers, the Lone Stars hold the longest win streak in DFU right now.  This is in large part to a squeaker of a win in Week 12 that took stat adjustments to achieve.  The Lone Stars are playing with house money now, can they use it to hit the jackpot in the playoffs.

5.  Danville Ironmen (6-6)

Danville has looked good down the stretch and those efforts have taken them to another post season run.  Their playoff hopes need some help, however, as they have to march through Franconia and the Shockers to get to the title game.

6.  Las Vegas Wild (6-6)

Las Vegas finally halted a four game skid last week which was enough to claim the Shula Division title.  Sadly, I don;t know if the 2014 Wild could beat the 2013 Wild, and the 2013 Wild missed the playoffs.

7.  Neverland Lost Boys (6-6)

The Elias Sports Bureau won’t be getting any Christmas cards from Neverland this year.  One less adjustment and Neverland could have clinched a Wild Card berth this week their first since 2010.

8.  Southside Schweinhammer (5-7)

Southside is 5-3 if you remove September.  It probably took a month to turn over the mistakes from previous ownership, so look for this team to make some waves in 2015.

9.  Boston Seabass (5-7)

Boston is getting there, but they still have a few more steps to take to get into the postseason.  The opportunity may be coming, so they better be ready.

10.  Scranton Spartans  (4-8)

Scranton’s fortunes seem to live and die by the success of the NFC South.  The NFC South is terrible this year and Scranton is suffering for it.

11.  Bethlehem Bad Boys (4-8)

Bethlehem is 1-6 in their last seven.  A high draft pick may be the prescription to reform the Bad Boys into a winner.

12.  Palmer Porn Stars (1-11)


Week 13 Playoff Scenarios

One game remains to determine full playoff seeding.  Many games remain to determine Draft order in 2015.

Week 10 Scenarios:

Reading Reapers

Clinch the Lombardi Division and a Round 1 bye with a win

Texas Lone Stars

Clinch the Lombardi Division and a Round 1 bye with a win

Clinched Playoff Spots:


Brown Conference Bye Week:  TBD

Shula Division Winner:  Las Vegas Wild

Lombardi Division Winner:  TBD

Brown Conference Wild Card:  TBD

Brown Conference Playoff Berth:  Reading Reapers, Las Vegas Wild, Texas Lone Stars

Eliminated from Playoffs:  Boston Seabass, Bethlehem Bad Boys, Neverland Lost Boys


Halas Conference Bye Week:  NC Shockers

Landry Division Winner:  NC Shockers

Walsh Division Winner:  Danville Ironmen

Halas Conference Wild Card:  Franconia Destroyers

Halas Conference Playoff Berth: NC Shockers, Danville Ironmen, Franconia Destroyers

Eliminated from Playoffs:  Southside Schweinhammer, Scranton Spartans, Palmer Porn Stars

Current 2015 Draft Order (As of Week 12):

1)  Palmer Porn Stars*

2)  Bethlehem Bad Boys

3)  Scranton Spartans

4)  Southside Schweinhammer

5)  Boston Seabass

6)  Neverland Lost Boys

7)  Texas Lone Stars

8)  Franconia Destroyers

9)  Danville Ironmen

10)  Las Vegas Wild

11)  Reading Reapers

12)  NC Shockers

 * – Draft position locked

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